The Lighthouse Blog

Parenting Tip - Kids & Conscience

Thu, 10 May 2012 00:00:00 -0700

God has placed a conscience inside each person. The primary function of the conscience is to point people to a personal knowledge of God. Romans 2:15 describes the conscience as an internal witness inside non-believers that acknowledges God’s existence.

The conscience has other functions as well. The conscience provides internal prompters to children to do what’s right, but many parents miss opportunities to strengthen these prompters. Instead, parents emphasize parental prompters. One of the ways to increase the strength of a child’s internal prompters is to send children on missions where they have to rely on internal prompters and then take initiative themselves.

Instead of saying, “Johnny, go clean up the Legos in the playroom,” you might say, “Johnny, please go look in the playroom and see if you can find anything out of place in there.” Teaching children to see what needs to be done is the first step toward motivating them to make changes on their own. You might also say, “Oops, Jenny, think for a minute,” as she’s about to leave the table without helping to clean up. Or, “Jim, would you please think of a way you can help in these frustrating few minutes before dinner?”

Raising the awareness often requires that parents allow children to fill in some of the blanks by seeing what needs to be done for themselves and then taking initiative to do it.

This parenting tip comes from the children’s program curriculum Hero Training Camp. It’s the conscience development course for kids. The parent’s component to this curriculum is called Everyday Parents Can Raise Extraordinary Kids.

This parenting tip comes from the children’s program curriculum Hero Training Camp. It’s the conscience development course for kids. The parent’s component to this curriculum is called Everyday Parents Can Raise Extraordinary Kids.

Parenting Tip - Commitments Develop in the Heart

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700

Commitments provide purpose, meaning, and direction in life. Ralph, age fourteen, was determined to save money for a remote-controlled car. Mom told us, "He set his heart on getting that car and spent many hours earning the money." Martha was committed to her friends but not to her school- work, requiring some major shifts in her heart in order to get the commitments into proper balance.

Sometimes parents are encouraged by the commitments they see in their children and other times red flags go up warning moms and dads to take action. When parents use the good commitments that children have and try to change commitments that are unproductive, they are doing heart work in their kids' lives.

Parents can do a lot to influence their children's commitments and convictions. Be on the lookout for positive things that you want to encourage in your child's heart. Many a great man or woman has traced their early interests back to a parent's encouragement. Look for ways to generate healthy commitments in children to get their hearts moving in the right direction. Moses told the people, "Take to heart all the words I have solemnly declared to you this day…They are your life." (Deuteronomy 32:46-47) Samuel told the people, "Serve the Lord with all your heart." (1 Samuel 12:24) Proverbs 3:5 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart." Each of these verses is a call to commitment.

For more ideas about how to relate to children on a heart level, consider the book, Parenting is Heart Work, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN

Kids Night Out February 10

Tue, 31 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0800

Next Kids Night Out Is February 10 from 6 to 9 p.m.!Hey Kids! Join us for a Friday night filled with a whole lot of fun while Mom and Dad take the night off. We'll provide dinner, play games, watch a movie, hear an object lesson, and more. Cost: $10 per child (includes dinner); 3rd and 4th child (same family) $7 each.

Open to kids four-years of age through 4th grade. Our 5th and 6th graders will meet as a group as well.

To R.S.V.P., please call 760/753-2535, x14 or email us at lhadmin@ncpcfamily.org with the names and ages/grades of your children.

ALL KIDS IN OUR COMMUNITY ARE INVITED TO ATTEND. BRING A FRIEND!

Jingle Jam Two-Day Christmas Camp!

Tue, 08 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0800

Click here to download the two-page registration form. Don't miss Jingle Jam -- A Christmas Camp For Kids --Monday and Tuesday, December 19 and 20, 2011. We're Jammin' for Jesus this Christmas season. Send your kids to our two-day Christmas camp where they'll discover that Jesus is the true reason we celebrate this holiday season. Children will participate in many fun activities -- a craft, games, music, Bible story, mission project, and more! Choose from two schedules: 9 a.m. to Noon or 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Cost for the two-day camp for one child is $30 (9 a.m.-Noon) or $45 (9 a.m.-3 p.m.). For more information, please contact us at lhadmin@ncpcfamily.org. Friends and neighbors are always welcome!

Don't Miss VBS 2011!

Tue, 07 Jun 2011 00:00:00 -0700

Don't miss Vacation Bible School this year! It takes place July 18 through 22, 2011 here on campus at NCPC! Children ages four years through 6th grade are invited to attend.

Link to our Children's Ministry page for more information at www.ncpcfamily.org/children or click here to download the two-page registration form with full details on this fun camp!

We hope to see you there. If you have any questions, feel free to email us at lhadmin@ncpcfamily.org.

Parenting: Stop the Intensity in Conflict

Thu, 03 Mar 2011 00:00:00 -0800

Here's a great parenting tip that we all can learn from...borrowed from the National Center For Biblical Parenting www.biblicalparenting.org.

Stop The Intensity and Conflict
Sometimes a child's stubbornness or defiance is obvious. In those moments, stop dealing with the issue at hand and talk about the process of how you're relating. "I can tell you're upset and it's not good for us to continue until you settle down. You need to take a break and come back when you're ready to continue talking about this." Have the child sit in the hall or on the top step or some other boring place. After the child has settled down, then he or she needs to come back to you and talk about the problem.

If your child comes back without having a heart change, then send the child back again. One dad told the story of seven-year-old Sarah who was yelling at her brother. "I called her upstairs to talk to me and she began yelling at me. I told her that was inappropriate and to take a break for a bit and settle down."

"About a minute later she came back but was obviously not changed. Her head was tilted down, her posture was slumping and her bottom lip was sticking out. I didn't even have to talk with her. I just told her what I saw, "Sarah, I can tell you're not ready yet. The way you're standing and the expression on your face all tell me that you still have a problem with your heart. I want you to go back until you're ready to come out with a changed heart."

"This time she stayed away for about 20 minutes and when she returned she was obviously different. In fact, I took her head in my hands and looked deep in her eyes and said, 'I can see your heart in there. It looks pretty nice right now. It looks like you're ready to talk about this,' Sarah giggled and then we continued to talk about the problem. I explained to her that she could not yell at her dad. That is disrespectful even if she is angry. We also talked about the right responses she could have if she was angry with her brother."

By enforcing a break, this dad helped Sarah change her heart. Don't allow conflect to escalate into a battle. Stop the intensity with a break. It will not only help you stay calm but it will help your children develop some maturity about dealing with conflict.

Source: Home Improvement, The Parenting Book You Can Read to Your Kids, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN. www.biblicalparenting.org.

Children's Ministry News-January

Wed, 05 Jan 2011 00:00:00 -0800

Hey Kids and Parents -- Happy New Year! There's lots of fun brewing in the Lighthouse. We hope to see you soon!

Don’t miss Sunday School every week at 9:30 a.m.
Click on the links below to see Sunday School curriculum for October and November:

Early Childhood (Age 2 thorough Kindergarten)
Elementary (Grades 1-4)
PreTeen (Grades 5-6)

Kid's Night Out is Friday, February 11 from 6 to 9 p.m.! Hey Kids! Join us for a Friday night filled with a whole lot of fun while Mom and Dad celebrate Valentine's Day. We'll have dinner, play games, watch a movie, hear an object lesson, and more! Cost: $10 per child (includes dinner); 3rd and 4th child (same family) $7 each. Open to kids 4-years of age through 4th grade. To R.S.V.P., please call 760/753-2535 x14 or email us at lhadmin@ncpcfamily.org. Friends are always welcome!

Two Summer Camps. Mark your carlendar for two amazing camps taking place this summer. First, June 19-24, 2011 marks the week we'll send a group of boys and girls to Indian Hills Overnight Camp. Kids entering 3rd through 6th grade are invited to go. Space is limited to a small group, so let us know if you would like us to hold a spot for your child. Second, save the date for this summer's Vacation Bible School from July 18-22, 2011. All kids from four-years of age through 6th grade are welcome to join us. VBS camp fee is discounted for kids whose parents volunteer with us for the week.

Click here to go to our Children's Ministry page for more information on our programs.

Parenting: When Kids Want To Fight

Tue, 04 Jan 2011 00:00:00 -0800

Here's a great parenting tip that we all can learn from...borrowed from the National Center For Biblical Parenting www.biblicalparenting.org.

When Kids Want to Fight
When children are unhappy, they look for ways to draw their parents into a fight. Kids know just where your buttons are and how to push them to make you angry. "Dad wouldn't do it that way," or "You never let me have fun," might be all that's needed to create the volcano effect. When children get antry and are looking for a fight, it's as if they step into the boxing ring and invite you to join them.

All too often, parents, believing they are stronger, smarter, and more powerful, are willing to put on gloves and enter the ring to "teach this kid a lesson" or "put him in his place." The key indicator that says you want to accept the invitation to fight is your harshness. The intensity increases as each party is determined to win the battle. Unfortunately, setting ourselves up as opponents does more damage to the relationship than we expect.

Instead of getting into the ring with your children, imagine going around the ring to the child's corner and becoming a coach. You might say, "I'm not going to discuss this with you while you're upset. First, you need to settle down and then we'll talk about the problem." Or, "The way you're talking to me sounds like you're trying to provoke me into an argument. I'm not going to fight with you."

Coaching children out of the boxing ring means that we stop dealing with the issue at hand and instead discuss the way we're relating. Moving our focus from the issue to the process has a dramatic effect on the relationship when things begin to get tense. The parent refuses to become a sparring partner and instead looks for ways to improve the relationship. This doesn't mean that the child will instantly become responsive, but it does mean that the parent chooses a different posture, one that offers healilng instead of antagonism, and closeness instead of distance.

Source: Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your kids by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN. www.biblicalparenting.org.

Jingle Jam Christmas Camp For Kids--Dec. 20 & 21!

Tue, 23 Nov 2010 00:00:00 -0800

Don't miss our 2nd Annual Jingle Jam Christmas Camp which will take place on Monday, December 20 and Tuesday, December 21 this year. Choose from two schedules: 9 a.m. to Noon or kids can come early and stay late from 8 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. Open to children 4 years of age through 6th grade.

Click here to download a registration form, or pick up a form on the patio after church.

Friends, neighbors, and all kids in our community are welcome to attend!

Core Session (two days 9 a.m.-Noon)
One Child $30
Additional Children (same household) $28 ea.

Come Early/Stay Late (two days 8 a.m.-2:30 p.m.)
One Child $45
Additional Children (same household) $40 ea.

Sign up now to ensure a space for your child or grandchild! If you need more information, call us at 760/753-2535, x 13 or 14.

The Value of Listening To Your Kids

Thu, 07 Oct 2010 00:00:00 -0700

This is a great parenting tip that we can all learn from...borrowed from the National Center for Biblical Parenting.

The Value of Listening

Jesus said, “out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks" (Matthew 12:34). Parents can use this principle to gain some understanding and insight into a child’s heart. Listening becomes key.

It’s surprising how many times we ask kids why they don’t talk to their parents and hear the answer, “Because they don’t listen to me.” Yes, it’s true some children confuse listening with agreeing. On the other hand, we find some parents really don’t listen to their children, whether they agree or not. They’re irritated by the lack of logic, the different viewpoints, or the naïve opinions of their children.

Listening can feel like torture as a child goes on and on about things that don’t make sense to the parent. It’s in these moments, however, that parents can learn a lot about a child’s heart. Children may be wrong, but they’re usually following some kind of internal logic. Listening allows you to figure out what's going on and offer more truth where helpful.

As you listen to your kids talk, try to discern what may be distracting them from understanding the truth. Don’t feel like you have to point it out on the spot. Take time to listen and make mental notes of errors in their thinking. Look for creative ways to help them understand truth more fully.

An accepting, safe, listening ear, often opens the heart in ways that nothing else can. As you listen to your child, you’ll learn about dreams, goals, and commitments. Good or bad, time spent listening to your children gives you a greater sense of what’s going on inside, offering you ideas and direction about the heart change that’s needed.

If you're interested in receiving a weekly tip like this via email, go to www.biblicalparenting.org.